Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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