I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize