Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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