.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
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Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize