Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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