no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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