Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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