I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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