He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
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she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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