her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize