What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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