I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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