My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
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Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I need water and some morals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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