Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize