dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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