found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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