So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
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What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize