drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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