The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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