Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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