It's Friday. Sex?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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