we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize