a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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