It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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