I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
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Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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