belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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