yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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