This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize