Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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