seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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