You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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