he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
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She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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