I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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