You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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