As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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