belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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