I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize