this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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