On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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