You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
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Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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