so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
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I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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