Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize