can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize