No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize