im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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