nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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