You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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