just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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