Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize