I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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